as the saying goes, "when the water is deep, it flows slowly, and if you are expensive, it is too late to speak."

although the wind and waves are strong on the surface of the water, the water in the depths will always maintain a slow speed.

people. It is a big taboo in life to make simple remarks. Don't treat everyone as your friends, let alone tell others what's on your mind.

you don't have to confide in yourself before you have an in-depth understanding of a person. once you meet a villain who has no bottom line, he will use your trust to denigrate and hurt you.

therefore, when dealing with people, it is a kind of wisdom to know how to protect yourself.

-01-

Don't give up when you talk to everyone

during the reign of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, there was a minister named Yu Chaoen.

one day, a guest named Zhang Yan came to his house. He was very resourceful and good at planning. Yu Chaoen attached great importance to him.

later, Yu Zhaoen dug up Guo Ziyi's ancestral grave and exposed his ancestors to the wilderness while General Guo Ziyi went out to calm the chaos. This move surprised Zhang Yan and felt that it was really not the work of a gentleman.

at that time, Zhang Yan met Wu Shida, another counselor in the Yu Chaoen mansion. He thought they were of the same mind, so he regarded Wu Shida as one of his own and told him everything, including the shameless practice of violating the ethics of Yu Chaoen.

who knows that after listening to Zhang Yan, Wu Shida not only failed to keep secrets for his "friends", but even made up an abacus.

he spread the matter secretly and finally spread it to Yu Chaoen's ear.

Poor Zhang Yan, because of his poor knowledge of people, caused the dissatisfaction of Yu Chaoen. And ended up getting killed.

the constant words of awakening the World says:

"if the machine is not secret, disaster comes first. The tongue is the source of harm, and the mouth is the door of misfortune and good fortune. "

be sincere and frank, but also distinguish the person you are talking to. We should have reservations about others and ourselves.

people are complicated and things are unpredictable.

most of the time, you can hear well-intentioned reminders, but not the hidden hypocrisy; you can see innocent smiles, but not the camouflage behind them.

when you don't really know someone, what you think you see through is probably an illusion.

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therefore, when dealing with people, we should keep in mind that we should only say one-third of everything, one percent of sincerity, one percent of understanding, and one point of distance.

-02-

the human heart is separated by the belly, but one does not know both inside and outside

in A Dream of Red Mansions, Cao Xueqin's image of Wang Xifeng is described in such a poem:

"smile on your face and stumble under your feet. It's a fire in the open, but a knife in the dark. "

some people look warm and cheerful on the outside and speak flatteringly, but in fact they are hypocritical and very deep.

during the period of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, Li Linfu and Li Shizhi were in the same dynasty.

although Li Lin-fu is shallow in learning, he is especially good at figuring out the hearts of the people and ingratiating himself. So even if he is jealous of Li Shizhi and is willing to crack down, he can pretend to make friends on the surface.

one day, he went to see Li Shizhi and gave him a suggestion.

"I have heard that there is a gold mine in Mount Tai. If it can be mined, it will greatly enrich the national treasury. You have won the trust of the emperor, and the words of your proposal will certainly be accepted. "

Li Shizhi also thought it was feasible, so he hurriedly offered advice to Xuanzong. Xuanzong was very happy when he heard this, so he asked Li Linfu to consult.

Li Linfu said:

"I have heard about this for a long time, but Mount Tai is the dragon vein of the Tang Dynasty. Random excavation will shake the foundation of the country. I am afraid those who advise you to mine have ulterior motives."

the human heart is separated by the belly and knows nothing inside and outside.

some people, who seem kind and kind to face to face, speak ill of you everywhere behind their backs.

on the surface, it is always for your sake, but in fact it makes you stumble and tamper.

what people fear most in this life is that their trust will be betrayed.

when you meet more people, you will understand that not many people in the world will always be kind to you, and not all of them are worth waiting for.

Please stay away from such face-to-face and back-to-back people as soon as possible.

-03-

you can't hurt people, but you can't guard against them.

Yang Jiang once wrote in Walking on the Edge of Life:

"in this materialistic world, life is really hard enough.

if you intend to be an honest man at peace with the rest of the world, people will use you to bully you.

if you have a little bit of talent and moral character, people will envy you and exclude you.

if you give in magnanimously, people will infringe on you and hurt you.

if you don't compete with others, you have to ask for nothing from the world, and at the same time maintain your strength and prepare for struggle. "

therefore, our kindness still needs some sharpness.

you must not be willing to harm others, but you must be defensive against others.

people have many aspects, it is not easy to know themselves, and it is also difficult to show others. What can not be seen through in the world is always the human heart, and one thing can be exchanged for another, but one's heart can not be exchanged for one's heart.

once upon a time, there were two young blacksmiths, one surnamed Zhang and the other Wang, who went to the blacksmith shop as apprentices.

the salary of the apprentice is low. At first, both of them had a hard time.

but Zhang blacksmith learns things quickly and is willing to endure hardships, and his iron ware is getting better and better.

later, with the help of dignitaries, he came out to open an iron shop, and his iron ware became famous because of his superb skills and craftsmanship.

although the rich blacksmith Zhang never forgot to help the king blacksmith,He had been invited to help in his own shop, but Wang blacksmith was very jealous as he watched his friend's family get rich while he still had nothing.

he didn't show the slightest gratitude for the help of Zhang blacksmith, and he often smeared it behind his back. finally, he found a few people and set fire to Zhang's shop at night.

easy to rise, easy to retreat, easy to reverse, easy to restore small hearts.

you can never wake up a person who pretends to sleep, nor can you feed an ungrateful soul.

in real life, we pass by a lot of people every day, but not everyone can understand the truth of sincerity.

there are always hypocritical and treacherous people who are good at deceiving the trust of others for their own selfish desires through the kindness of others.

such a person, you associate with him as a friend, but the other person is full of calculations.

your sincerity and trust have become his weapon to hurt you.

the vicissitudes of life are changeable, so it's hard to be mindful to get along with people wearing false masks like this.

-04-

be a man, don't talk deeply.

as the ancients said, "if you can speak with words but not with words, you will lose people; do not talk with words and talk with them, and you will lose your tongue." A wise man does not lose others, nor does he make a slip of the tongue. "

in interpersonal communication, many people are ruined by superficial communication.

the road knows horsepower, but it takes time to see the hearts of the people. Reliable relationships are managed with time and cannot be easily achieved by getting along with each other in a day or two.

Human feelings, such as paper, are thick and thin, not everyone can be trusted, and not everyone is worth your heart and heart.

Don't talk too much about each other. Some of the excitement will eventually go away. People who don't know each other too much need not say too much.

you have to believe that as long as we get along slowly and attentively, we will always meet someone who can speak freely.

but before that, when the acquaintance is very shallow, remember to be careful in your words and deeds.