There is no best marriage, only a tolerant marriage.
once read such a sentence:
"the process of the real end of a relationship is not hysterical crying, let alone blocking and deleting, but when one no longer dares to look forward to love."
people are most afraid of suddenly seeing that they are alone in this relationship.
your painstaking feelings are disapproved of by the other party.
your unforgettable memory is dispensable to the other party.
what people fear most when they get along with others is disappointment.
in a relationship, you are most afraid of disappointment
writer Cen Sang once said:
everyone is like this, meet in the long river, and get to know each other in the trivial daily life.
is constantly frittered away in expectations and disappointments until they are separated.
have read such a sentence:
"the people who are the first to break up are often not easy to let go, not that they are not free and easy enough, but that they have saved enough disappointment; it is not that they do not love you, but that they do not love you."
affection is a matter for two people, and no matter how much one insists, it is futile.
there is a program called "Goodbye to Love", which focuses on three groups of couples with broken relationships.
but at the beginning of the program, Zhu Yaqiong went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to apply for divorce.
in 2002, the two fell in love at first sight because of their work. Now they have known each other for 19 years, married for 6 years and separated for 1 year.
she and her husband Wang Qiuyu divorced in 2019. After the divorce, Zhu Yaqiong found that she was pregnant and chose to remarry for the sake of their children.
after remarriage, her husband Wang Qiuyu has not changed much, and Zhu Yaqiong's love and patience have once again been completely exhausted.
in the program, they sat around and spoke out what was in their hearts.
Zhu Yaqiong, with red eyes, calmly talked about all her grievances.
they have known each other for 19 years, but her husband has always denied her and has never appreciated his wife's talent.
when she got her marriage license, she put on makeup and asked Wang Qiuyu how she looked. The husband said "so ugly" coldly;
she wanted a hug, but her husband impatiently timed it for a minute;
the two watched their previous videos together, while her husband Wang Qiuyu had no impression of all the videos and felt that these memories were indifferent and childish.
to one side, Zhu Yaqiong was in tears. She could not understand why men who had lived for more than a decade turned a blind eye to their happiness.
program, Zhu Yaqiong said she was already disappointed with the marriage.
A woman who lacks love, a man who does not express love and always hurts, their marriage is doomed to be devastated.
Shen Yifei, a bisexual scientist, said:
"A lot of things and ideas in marriage can tolerate each other, but if you encounter each other's bottom line of principle, it may make the person wonder whether I want to live with you or not."
the best option is to pack up and throw it away.
the end of a relationship is like a heartbreak, beating and beating on the ground.
people who love each other are always tolerant
Christine Hannah wrote in Firefly Lane:
"We all thought each other's life was the best, but in the end, we found that there will always be imperfections, and this imperfection makes us complete."
the same is true in marriage, there is no best marriage, only a tolerant marriage.
the two people have different living habits and have their own hobbies.
if you blindly blame and negate each other, the relationship between the two will wear away sooner or later.
many people meet and know each other. At first, everything looks like a quiet time, but it is tit-for-tat because of trifles.
in the end, no matter who wins, he loses the relationship.
have read such a story.
A couple has been hand in hand for 50 years, with few quarrels, from black hair to white hair.
on the 50th anniversary of the golden wedding, a guest asked her:
"what's the secret to a happy marriage?"
she said: "from the day I got married, I was ready to list 10 shortcomings of my husband. For the happiness of our marriage, I promised myself that whenever he made any of these 10 mistakes, I would be willing to forgive him."
the man continued to ask, "what are those 10 shortcomings?"
she replied, "to tell you the truth, I have not listed these 10 shortcomings specifically in the past 50 years."
whenever my husband makes me jump with anger when he does something wrong, I immediately remind myself: lucky for him, he made one of the 10 mistakes I can forgive. "
A good marriage must be able to accommodate each other.
writer Ai Xiaoyang once wrote this paragraph:
"Don't talk about values and fight for right and wrong in an intimate relationship. Instead, you should know how to reflect and be grateful. You should understand that intimacy is more important than right, and tolerance is more important than reform."
only when you always tolerate and respect each other, will you not hurt each other's feelings.
tolerance is because you care, and admitting mistakes is because you don't want to be wronged.
cherish each other so that you can grow old together
Zhang Xiaoxian once said:
"A man's greatest harm to a woman is not that he falls in love with someone else, but that he disappoints her when she has expectations."
the greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.
in the movie Chongqing Forest, there is a classic line:
"I don't know since when, there is a date on everything. Saury will expire, canned meat will expire, and even cling paper will expire.
I'm starting to wonder, is there anything else in this world that doesn't expire? "
two people meet in the vast sea of people, is the fate of the previous life; how far we can accompany each other depends on whether we know how to cherish it.
A friend experienced a divorce from his parents at the age of 12.
my friend's mother insisted on getting a divorce, but her grandmother advised her not to be too hypocritical.
Mom only said one word:
"he is very nice
, but not together, after all, life is too long.
"
until later, the stepfather showed up.
he will change his friend's mother's flowers and plants into beautiful flowerpots and take his mother's hand for a walk by the river.
he would go to the Wetland Park with his mother to shoot flowers and birds, tell her the name and story of each plant, bring back a few fallen branches, put them in a quaint vase and put them on the desk.
when his friend's mother is ill in the hospital, he will put a bunch of lilies at the head of his mother's bed. The fruit will be cut into small pieces and placed in a clean light green porcelain bowl.
he would sit by the bed, pick up a book and read it to his mother page by page.
as Liao Yimei said:
"in this life, it is not rare to meet love and sex, but to meet understanding."
there is a long way to go in life, and only by being with people who are willing to cherish you can you go on for a longer time.
the love of the world, there are few rivers that can cross the years as new forever.
those who really love you will come to you across thousands of miles.
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in a relationship, the greatest grievance is that the other party turns a blind eye.
he can't see your heart; he thinks he is moaning without illness when your pain is sad.
some people are born to love you, and some people are destined to teach you.
when two people are together, they either knock themselves to death or give up.
May you no longer swallow your grievances silently, and love yourself first.
if you can love, love hard; if it's not worth it, turn away.