the writer Hillhouse said:

"in a relationship, we often choose to close our eyes rather than look back to see how far away from each other is because we no longer share love between two people."

it is true that only when love is shared can the flowing love be seen and perceived.

and high-quality sharing is not only the catalyst of emotion, but also the accelerant of interpersonal relationship.

just like Shan Minggu Ying, you share enthusiastically, and I respond enthusiastically, so as to strengthen feelings, gather family affection, and deepen friendship.

A really good relationship requires a "desire to share".

it is not a perfunctory chat, but cares about each other from the heart, agrees with each other, and resonates with each other on the same frequency.

not sharing is self-isolation

some people say: "Adult refusals mostly begin with a reluctance to share."

there is no crisp farewell, no loud quarrel, only quiet estrangement.

but repeated silent refusal, not only away from others, but also isolated themselves, and finally no one can understand, no one to listen to.

British writer Ian McEwan tells the tragic story of a man in the cupboard in his book the first Love, the Last ceremony.

he is a hotel cleaner who is responsible for cleaning the kitchen boiler.

every day, the kitchen is filled with shouting and noise from fellow workers, but he never participates in it, just brushing the pot and cleaning the oven mechanically.

he is used to being a loner, instinctively resisting sharing and interaction, and even likes to stay in the wardrobe all day and all night.

the noisy traffic and the crowd can make him very depressed.

the only person he is willing to get along with is a deaf and dumb person who always sits quietly without talking and smiles at each other occasionally.

gradually, he turned himself into an island.

No one wants to be friends with him, and he has nowhere to pour out his grief.

just like us in life, we subconsciously erect a wall because we are too lazy to share and interact with each other.

even if there are thousands of friends in the address book, there are very few who can be disturbed without scruples when crying.

sometimes I want to make fun of my old friends, but the record of the conversation stays two years ago, and the words I want to say are typed and deleted.

it is not time and space that block the relationship, but our hearts that reject emotion.

as the ancient Roman philosopher Seneca said:

"almost any situation, good or bad, is affected by our attitude towards the situation."

refuse to share, it will be difficult to meet warm.

if you isolate yourself, you will never see the splendor of the world.

if you don't share, you will end up

the relationship between people cannot be maintained by unilateral giving and tolerance.

No matter how deep the feelings are, when the desire to share disappears, it may become a break-up.

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@ sub-return

shared a heart-breaking story.

she and Fa Xiao have known each other for 20 years, carrying each other through youth and witnessing each other's growth.

after graduating from college, Fa returned to her hometown for development, while she went to work in Shenzhen alone.

at first, the two often contacted and shared the details of life, even if they were apart, they seemed close at hand.

but since getting married and having children, the reply has changed from a long second to a golden reply:

"I'm with the kids."

"busy."

"chat later."

"all right."

"Oh."

.

she thought, maybe Fa Xiao is really busy.

over time, they share and communicate less and less.

until her birthday, she suddenly remembered to send a blessing, only to find that she had been deleted.

it turns out that the repeated snub has already turned them into two parallel lines.

as stated in the book "your Solitude, though your defeat is glorious":

"I was eager to have a good chat with someone, only to find that the common topic had been changed countless times and was defeated by countless'Oh 'and' OK'."

in fact, this is true of friendship, and so is affection and love.

when you no longer eagerly respond to your parents' nagging concerns, or even group your parents into groups in your moments, the so-called father and daughter, whose blood is thicker than water, have long been drifting away.

when you no longer have a casual chat with your lover, there is no longer a tacit understanding that you are making trouble and I am laughing, I have never given up on life and death, and in a twinkling of an eye, it has become a speechless choke that everything is different.

"Snow is afraid of sun grass and frost, and people are afraid of indifference and hurt."

Life sea, please cherish the person who is willing to share with you, and the heart that is willing to share with you.

because a heart will freeze into ice if it is cooled for a long time.

A relationship will wear out and turn to dust if it is disappointed.

A person who is left out in the cold for a long time will turn into a passer-by.

A good relationship, always "share"

have seen such a story:

A street worker with a sausage mouth and a riffraff face fell in love with a handsome and dignified newspaper girl.

as soon as we met, the boy took the initiative to woo, but the girl was surprised by his appearance."scared" retired.

but the boy is not discouraged, frequently write to the girl, chatter to share life, thoughts, and endless lovesickness:

"I was so drunk at noon that I was called by the boss on the spot."

"your mother doesn't like me."

"I had a strange dream today."

"Fei, you fly back."

in the pouring out of one letter after another, the girl read out the boy's extraordinary talent, knowledge and humorous temperament, and also felt his hot love and affection.

so the girl began to reply.

they talk about everything about family, mind and work, and their hearts are getting closer and closer.

they are Wang Xiaobo and Li Yinhe.

the most desirable thing is that they confided and encouraged like close friends, not only reaping love, but also achieving each other's careers.

as Dr. John Berman said:

"if you accept, love, appreciate, listen and support each other, your feelings will be more positive and energetic."

sharing is to establish connection and empathy in acceptance and listening, so as to deepen the relationship.

but in order to truly "share", you must first learn to "share" before the other person is willing to "share".

you can start from the following three aspects:

Resonance on the same frequency, really leave it to the right person

Historical Records has a saying:

"if the Tao is different, we will not conspire with each other."

between people, the most important thing is to understand.

to the right person, a look can convey thousands of feelings; an expression can fully understand the feelings between words.

but the fish can not catch the soul of the birds to share, mountains and water will not touch the moving movement, because they have different frequencies.

if you want to build a bittersweet relationship, you must find the person who resonates on the same frequency.

only with the same frequency can we see each other's inner elegance.

only when we really understand, can we understand the mountains and rivers chatting with each other.

if you have something to share, you can have a strong relationship for a long time

Psychology has an "exposure effect", also known as the familiarity effect, which means that the more people are exposed in front of people, the more likely they are to become close friends with each other.

therefore, the maintenance of a relationship usually requires exposure and familiarity in both directions.

even if it is not a second to share, there is bound to be an echo of everything.

as Su Qin said, "all cause and effect is just an interaction."

if you have something to share, you can have feelings for a long time.

only by exchanging needed goods can the relationship be mutually beneficial.

positive interaction, forming a virtuous circle

the book key Dialogue mentions:

"in practical communication, if you want to be friends with each other, you must learn to share his thoughts and feelings."

if people want to build a long-term trust relationship and make people willing to share and listen, they must have pleasant communication and interactive chat.

even if it is a nonsense, what you get is not disdain, but understanding and recognition.

even if it is ridiculous and funny, the response is not ridicule, but attention and concern.

in this way, the emotional ties are getting closer and closer, and the mutual thoughts and participation in life are getting closer and closer.

▽

Bai Juyi said:

"if you enjoy people's happiness, you will also enjoy them; if you worry about people's worries, you will also worry about them."

only when you are happy with the happiness of others can you gain more happiness.

only by grieving the grief of others can we share the sorrow with empathy.

all the far-reaching and lasting relationships are better than giving a peach in return for Qiong Yao's shared response.

whether friends, family or loved ones, learn to share before you deserve to have it; only when you know how to respond can you last long.

even if you share the little things, you maintain the relationship as a big thing.

if someone is willing to share the details with you, please be kind, because this is an expression of love.

if someone likes to listen to your nagging nonsense, please cherish it, because it is understanding and affectionate.

, may you and I both learn to share our hearts and live up to our promises.