some time ago, actor Li Qin made a speech in the program "witty Love" and went viral on Weibo.

program, which has triggered a discussion among many mentors and viewers:

A male guest began to pursue another female guest because he was quite fond of her. In the program, he was considerate and accommodating to her.

but in the end, the boy didn't win the girl's heart, and the whole person was very lost.

mentor Cai Kangyong bluntly pointed out the problems in the pursuit of boys, which is a typical flattering personality, which is constantly lowering their own posture to pay and cater to each other.

then, actor Li Qin made a phone call to express the meaning, which was praised by many netizens as "human sobriety":

Social interaction must pay attention to each other's feelings, pay moderately, pay too much, but will cause a lot of pressure on each other.

socializing with people is a process that requires careful consideration. it is like a heavy book, and every page has something to point out.

analyze and summarize common social types, which can be divided into three levels.

represent different personal practices.

asking for social networking: fragile and short-lived

in the book "thinking Power", there is such a sentence, which is enlightened:

"Don't waste your energy on the circle until your value is effectively established. If you don't have exchange value, all socializing is useless."

in life, there are often such people who think that "if there are many friends, it is easy to walk", but they do not realize that they will have many friends only if they follow their own path.

read the true story told by a recruiter on the Internet.

once on the way to the recruitment site, the entrance to the venue was jammed because too many people came to look for a job.

when netizens were worried about how to get in smoothly from the crowd, a girl waiting for an interview opened her way through the bustling crowd to understand the netizens' passing.

after entering the venue, netizens got up to look for water dispensers to pick up water. Just now the girl suddenly appeared and enthusiastically helped the netizens to pick up the water.

netizens are grateful but don't know what to say.

after the interview was over, I looked at the girl's interview and scored it, which was not satisfactory.

seeing that she did not have her own name on the admission list, the girl also came forward to ask, saying that she was very dissatisfied with the result, and begged netizens to see if she could help her keep the job when she helped him evacuate the crowd and take over the water.

also said that he also knows Mr. B in the company. Call Mr. B and he will recommend himself.

looking at the girl in front of her, she painstakingly said how many bosses she knew. I really didn't know what to say.

see this sentence: "when you are incompetent, contacts are useless to socialize."

piercing and profound.

those who always want to achieve themselves by the halo of others will never be able to emit their own light.

although "good wind relies on strength to send me to the blue sky", most of the time, it is the "wind" that gives you the height you are now.

when an upward pursuer no longer wants to rely on himself, he always wants to achieve his goals through others.

even if you have a link with others, you have to believe that one day, the link will be broken.

in such a social interaction, you may reap temporary benefits, but over time, loopholes will slowly emerge and are very likely to engulf yourself.

inward socializing: clumsy and slow

Jia Dao, a poet of the Tang Dynasty in China, is called a "poem slave".

he loved to write poetry from an early age, and even if his family was poor, he never gave up writing poetry.

after growing up, he took part in several imperial examinations, but the results were not satisfactory. In order to fill his stomach, he chose to become a monk.

when he was a monk, he also regarded writing poetry as his greatest pleasure in life.

but in the process of writing poems, Jia Dao does not like to communicate with others and always likes to ponder over it by himself.

"two sentences for three years, one song and two tears."

he used this sentence to describe his poetry. Every time he finished it, he shed two lines of tears. He was not only happy, but also felt sorry for himself.

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he has been creating in his own world.

he doesn't like to make friends and has always been introverted.

when he was a child, because of family reasons, few children took the initiative to come to him, and slowly he didn't like to get in touch with people.

the stillness of the temple made him introverted.

so he is also called a "poetic prisoner".

it is true that the accumulation of personal strength is important in a person's life, but if he does not take the initiative to connect with the outside world, he will only block his own mind and cannot accelerate his life at all.

No matter at any stage of life, we may be caught in the misunderstanding that as long as I constantly improve myself, those good resources will come to me.

but those who only want to take advantage of our value and take the initiative to approach come and go quickly.

only those who take the initiative to make friends with each other can become reliable contacts by connecting with each other.

so the social model that can really help you grow accurately needs to cut off the passive social circle and actively explore your own circle.

Internal and external social interaction: powerful and comfortable

Goethe, a famous writer, once said:

"people can learn in society, but inspiration only happens when they are alone."Sprang up. "

in all aspects of life, there are always some people who are good at communication and can maintain a good relationship with everyone.

but I have gradually found that the more communicative people are, the more time they spend alone.

crosstalk actor Guo Degang is such a person.

he once said that if a person laughs on the stage, looks like a madman, and gets off the stage and remains the same in life, then that person is really a madman.

Guo Degang is on the stage, laughing and cursing, humorous and funny.

be able to get along with the people around you with high EQ, make others feel comfortable, and handle the relationship comprehensively and harmoniously.

but Guo Degang, who seems to be able to deal well with many people, looks quite the opposite off the stage.

he doesn't like to go in and out of all kinds of banquets, even for commercial performances.

in the preface to "just right" in his autobiography, he admitted that he was a particularly boring person who liked to write, watch plays and read books in his study. He had no other hobbies, didn't smoke or drank alcohol.

"you can skip school, but you can't skip reading."

therefore, Guo Degang spends all his free time alone, reading some books and improving himself.

people who not only have their own strength as a groundwork, but also the ability to expand themselves outward, such people will deal with their own relationship with the world.

inside, has its own rich world, can resist loneliness and external shocks;

on the outside, there is a set of rules for getting along with others, which can replace value, promote growth, and have a flexible life.

socializing has nothing to do with personality. Socializing is an ability.

this ability can not only connect others, but also take care of yourself. To be invincible and comfortable.

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everyone needs to socialize, but not everyone is good at socializing, and the benefits of socializing vary from person to person.

the level of social ability also represents the depth of personal practice.

when we want to understand the nature of social interaction and have a deep understanding of our social situation, we will have a clearer attitude towards life.

you can know yourself indirectly from your social level;

when we know ourselves, we know the way to face the world.

May everyone learn the truth from social interaction and live a more comfortable life.