May every woman know how to be cruel, not to escape, and not to be afraid to see through the truth.
recently, I saw a fan leave a message in the background, saying that he wanted to divorce her husband but didn't dare. It's really hard now.
originally she had a job she liked. Although she often worked overtime, she felt very happy.
her husband also patted his chest and said, "with children so tired, don't go to work. I'll support you."
she was so moved that she quit her job and waited for labor, thinking that she would look for a new job when her child was older.
during the period when she was out of work, she was not idle and arranged her family in good order.
later, when there was a slight disagreement between the two, the husband shouted, "what can you say if you don't make money?"
this was not enough, and her mother-in-law followed suit, satirizing her openly and secretly.
can't help sighing that her so-called "giving" is only a "reward" in the eyes of her mother-in-law.
someone once said, "Marriage is like a safe haven for storms, and at the same time, it is often a storm in Hong Kong."
some seemingly happy marriages actually hide the established cruelty.
so when you get married, you must know the truth.
-01-
my mother's family is strong
it is said that love is a matter for two people, while marriage is a matter for two families.
whether the family is good or not directly affects the quality of marriage.
the Legend of Zhen Huan is loved by everyone as the "bellwether" in the palace fighting drama, and the opposite play between the concubines also makes the audience shout wonderful.
among them, the struggle of women in the harem basically depends on their own families.
at the beginning of the story, the emperor had such a conversation with the queen when he divided the positions of the girls who entered the palace.
the emperor liked Zhen Huan quite much and planned to make her a noble person. the queen said yes, but reminded the emperor from the side: "Shen Zishan's official position is higher than Zhen Yuandao."
the emperor understood as soon as he heard this, so he sealed Shen Meizhuang and Zhen Huan, while an Lingrong, daughter of the humble Songyang County Cheng, only got a small promise.
the impressive Chinese imperial concubine, whose brother is Nien Tseng Yao, who supported the ascension of Yongzheng. Relying on the influence of her mother's family, she calls herself "the head of all the imperial concubines" and pays no attention to anyone.
even the emperor, because of Nien Gengyao, persuaded the queen to be courteous to the imperial concubine.
this shows how important a mother's family is to a woman.
think about how many women in reality are looked down upon by their mother-in-law because of their small dowry, or because their parents are unable to help.
some people say that it is really secular to talk about marriage and haggle over marriage.
but the truth is so cruel.
the most powerful safe haven in a woman's life is not a man, but her parents.
A woman who has a mother's family will have confidence; a woman who has her mother's support will not be bullied.
A woman who has her mother's family to go back to will bravely turn around and leave when her marriage breaks up.
-02-
be proud of yourself
on Zhihu, a little girl who had just entered the society posted a post asking: is it better to get married than to do a good job in today's society?
one of the most popular answers: "if you do do a social survey, you may come to the opposite conclusion-it's too difficult to marry well, and it's not as easy as my own spelling!"
the words are rough but reasonable.
I remember a popular love saying on the Internet: I am responsible for making money to support my family, and you are responsible for being as beautiful as flowers.
many silly girls who yearn for beautiful love will be moved to tears.
but they do not know that the so-called "I raise you" is a beautiful love word in love, but a poisonous lie in marriage.
how many "I am willing to support you" have been tempered by life to become "I still have to support you".
when a woman's palms are up, she loses.
in marriage, women must strive for themselves.
the most straightforward expression of striving for success is to achieve economic independence.
Carnegie also said: "financially independent women have their own ability to create happiness, they do not need to please and rely on men, marriage is just the icing on the cake for them."
in the recent hit TV series "perfect relationship", Stella decisively chose to divorce after discovering that her husband was having an affair.
in the face of her husband's begging, Stella was not soft-hearted at all, looking for evidence, mistress and divorce, so that the audience applauded.
in fact, Stella can be so leisurely because she is rich.
on the contrary, like Luo Zijun in the first half of my Life, he will beg and continue to face the difficulties of life.
in the final analysis, women with a certain economic base are more confident than women with no financial resources.
they don't need marriage to keep warm, they don't need men to rely on.
their future is entirely in their own hands, and they are free to choose their way of life.
even if their lives are not satisfactory, they can still use their own money to pave a wider road.
-03-
Don't lose your pride
Sanmao said: "sometimes marriage can make a woman lose herself, otherwise, the worldThere should be a lot more outstanding women. "
Tao Hong and Xu Zheng are well-known loving couples. Tao Hong once revealed her way of getting along in marriage.
Tao Hong says Xu Zheng is a slow person. Sometimes she gets angry, and she becomes happy before Xu Zheng starts to coax her.
Xu Zheng was puzzled: "I haven't figured out how to coax you, are you happy?"
Tao Hong replied, "is it up to you to decide my joys and sorrows? I can't be happy until you apologize to me? I have to wait for you to apologize before I can be happy again? I shouldn't have. "
it is true that the source of women's happiness is not men, but themselves.
many women are chic and unrestrained when they are single, but become submissive when they have lovers.
but they can not see through, think that this is a kind of "courage" in the pursuit of love.
when a woman is carried away by love, she will no longer focus on her work, maintain her social circle, or even cherish herself
throw away everything you have and focus on each other, hoping only to get each other's love.
but in most cases, this change only moves you.
A man can push a woman to rock bottom by saying "you volunteered".
the key step in running a good marriage is to love yourself.
if you don't care about yourself, who do you expect to care?
so please remember: you must not lose your own pride.
if you do not have your own pride, dependence will become dependence, and backers will become cliffs.
only women who keep themselves will be like a fish in water in love and marriage and will not be trapped.
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-04-
Marriage is like a balance beam, arsenic on the left and honey on the right.
the key is to see how women control it.
in the face of marriage, may every woman know how to be cruel, not to escape, and not to be afraid to see through the truth.
on the road of marriage, walk steadily, walk straight, walk more and more long-term.
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