Home is a place of love, not a place of reason.
-01-
A happy marriage heats up love with quarrels
A friend who works in the Civil Affairs Bureau told me a story some time ago.
A young couple came noisily to the Civil Affairs Bureau to apply for divorce.
when a friend saw them blushing, they asked, "Why do you want a divorce?"
the woman immediately rushed to say:
"I can't stand him anymore. I eat without brushing my teeth every day. I remind him every time that he just doesn't listen, and it's not sanitary at all if he wants to brush after dinner.
he said something about him and got mad at me. He didn't love me at all, so he might as well get divorced. "
after listening to this, the man is not willing to be outdone: "where do I not love you? you are asking for trouble. You quarrel with me early in the morning and let people see jokes every day because of these little things."
after listening to this, my friend smiled helplessly and said, "Today's printer is broken. Come back tomorrow and go home to think about it."
the couple had no choice but to leave angrily.
as soon as the Civil Affairs Bureau opened the door the next day, a friend saw the man who quarreled yesterday ran over with a smile: "Sorry, we are not going to get a divorce. I have caused you trouble."
the friend joked, "Yo, stop fighting?" Come on, I didn't intend to divorce you either. It's normal for husband and wife to quarrel with each other, so don't come here to divorce easily! "
my friend said that the printer didn't break down at all on the day they came to divorce.
asking them to come back tomorrow is to give them time to calm down.
after working for so many years, you can tell at a glance who really can't get by and who are just angry.
generally speaking, most couples who quarrel and blame each other are irreparable.
but like some people who are estranged from each other and do not quarrel, but who are friendly and say goodbye, they generally cannot be persuaded back.
the Law of Happy Marriage says: "even in the happiest marriage in the world, there will be 200 divorce thoughts and 50 strangling thoughts in a lifetime."
A good marriage is a little run-in in the trivialities of firewood, rice, oil and salt, and naturally it is inevitable to have ups and downs.
people who care about you are willing to try their best to quarrel with you, because they care so there is no room for a grain of sand.
what marriage fears most is not quarrelling, but not talking.
it is precisely because she loves you that she blames you. It is normal for a happy marriage to have a small quarrel.
-02-
Smart couples should leave leeway to quarrel
some people say: even 100 degrees boiled water can be cold, not to mention 37 degrees.
everything has its limits. The purpose of quarrelling is not to hurt, but to solve problems.
Don't always say the word "divorce", don't expose each other's shortcomings, don't hurt each other's self-esteem.
Kou Naixin once talked about the quarrel between husband and wife in the program I am an orator.
said that he once quarreled with her husband Huang Guolun and was mad. He made a slip of the tongue and scolded Huang Guolun:
"which part of you is worthy of me, Konaxin? Do you know that you are divorced and are secondhand? "
Huang Guolun did not answer back, but turned to pack his bags and said to her when he got to the door:
"Nai Xin, some words cannot be exported, do you know?"
for the next three days, Kou Naixin couldn't find Huang Guolun, the phone couldn't get through, and no one knew about his friends.
she realized in a panic how much harm she had done to Huang Guolun.
if you say it, it's like spilled water.
in life, too many couples turn quarrels into harsh words, leaving no room to hurt each other.
if it hadn't been for being young and ignorant, I would have married you?
I don't love you at all;
if you are not satisfied, get a divorce!
you eat me and drink mine every day. What else is not satisfied with you?
.
good words are warm in three winters, bad words hurt people in June, the warmest in the world is language, and the most hurtful is language.
when couples quarrel, what they fear most is that they lose control of their emotions.
A quarrel that leaves no leeway can only hurt the other party to pieces, resulting in irreparable consequences.
Marriage is bound to quarrel, but it is not a bottomless harm.
if you don't want a divorce, if you still have hope for the relationship, then no matter how angry you are, leave room for the relationship.
A happy marriage should be about talking well, not being a bad critic, and don't leave the hurt to the one you love most.
-03-
only couples who "quarrel" can have a long marriage
I once saw a question on the Internet: what is the secret of happiness?
the answer with the highest praise is: happy couples do not fight for right or wrong.
many times a woman quarrels with you and doesn't want the right answer. She just wants to see your attitude when you quarrel.
I heard a short story about the husband and wife who quarreled and the husband slammed the door and left.
his wife shouted, "if you go out this door, don't come back."
my husband said angrily, "if you don't come back, you won't. Who will be your grandson?"
unexpectedly, within 10 minutes, my husband came back with a smile, with a bag of vegetables in his hand.
the wife said, "aren't you not coming back?"
husband is in a hurryHurriedly said with a smile: "who knows that when we get downstairs, we will see the fresh fish just coming into the vegetable market. This fish can repair the body and will be stewed for you later."
my wife was instantly laughed at by her husband.
that's what good love should be like. Even if she wants to shoot each other 800 times, she will still choose the opposite direction when she goes out and go to the vegetable market to buy back her favorite food.
Lin Yutang said: "assuming that you don't quarrel in your marriage, there is no human flavor at all, and how to quarrel is an art."
A good marriage needs to quarrel, while a happy marriage knows how to quarrel.
the love between Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu is praised as a talented scholar and beauty. But they had quarrels before.
the cause of the incident is about the pronunciation of a French word "bon". Yang Jiang said that Qian Zhongshu read substandard, while Qian Zhongshu was not convinced.
the two argued endlessly and said some hurtful words.
Yang Jiang asked a French lady to verify that Qian Zhongshu was really wrong.
after discussion, the two decided that no matter what problems they encounter in the future, they should communicate well, there is no need to seek common ground, and just keep their own views.
later, when Mr. Yang Jiang quarreled with Qian Zhongshu, Qian Zhongshu always gave way to her.
Yang Jiang said: "Why do you always give way to me every time you quarrel? sometimes it's not just your fault to reflect."
Qian Zhongshu said, "because even if you win a quarrel, what can you do?" If I win the truth, lose my feelings, and lose you, I will lose my whole life. In the world of two people, there must always be one making noise, one laughing, one quarreling, and the other coaxing. "
some people say, choose your partner, not by how good he is to you when he is happy, but by how bad he is to you when he is angry.
A small quarrel makes you feel good, but a big quarrel hurts your feelings.
the purpose of quarrelling is never to win or lose, but to get more care and understanding.
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Home is a place of love, not a place of reason.
May we all talk and quarrel well for the rest of our lives, help each other in ordinary days, and stay warm with each other in cold years.