when I was young, I was afraid of being alone and liked to drown myself in a busy crowd.

with age, slowly, no longer like to call friends, no longer like to push the cup to change.

I prefer a person's carnival to the excitement of a group of people, and I gradually understand that the stronger the heart, the more I like to be alone.

Zhuangzi said, "to be alone is to be unique. The unique person is said to be the most expensive. "

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in fact, loners tend to be very good.

A loner dares to give up useless social interaction

when it comes to solitude, our first reaction is often to be unsociable.

in fact, this is a prejudice.

people who like to be alone do not have the ability to get along with others, but know how to restrain their desire for useless socialization.

in their view, useless socializing is a kind of wear and tear, choosing to be alone, just choosing a way of life that makes them comfortable.

as some people say: solitude is not only a kind of selective social interaction, but also a kind of inner persistence.

sometimes, instead of consuming yourself in gregariousness, it is better to improve yourself in solitude.

netizens of Zhihu

@ Miss Cat Coco

told such a story.

when she was in college, there was a girl in her class who liked to be a loner and was always at odds with everyone.

it was not until one time that netizens ran into her in the library that they knew why.

it turned out that due to her abnormal performance in the college entrance examination, although she barely got into the ideal university, she was transferred to a major that she was not interested in at all.

in order to apply for a change of major, she must get the top ten grades.

however, even if the score meets the requirements of the application, you have to pass the exam again before entering another major.

therefore, she can only study hard and has no time to waste on those meaningless social activities.

later, she not only transferred to her favorite major, but also took part in the postgraduate entrance examination all the way, and she envied many people.

when a person has a clear goal and knows what he should do, he is in no mood to grapple with the question of gregariousness or unsociability.

Haruki Murakami said: not all fish live in the same sea.

is not suitable for your own circle. It's really useless to squeeze in, except to add annoyance, waste time, and embarrass each other.

it's not scary to be a loner. What's scary is that we get lost in those useless social situations by gregarious gregariousness.

A loner, insist on being who you really are

Why are loners more likely to be themselves?

Young writer Liu Tong once said such a paragraph:

in our lives, we are already one person.

when you are alone, you don't even have to cry.

when you fall alone, only you have the right to laugh at yourself.

when you are alone, no one will call you crazy even if you laugh.

one person is all life, but also the whole world.

in this "human" society, it is necessary to deal with people, and in the face of different people, we put on different masks.

Don't cry when you should cry, and you can't laugh when you should laugh. If you wear the mask for a long time, you can't take it off.

only those who are used to being alone have a chance to be who they really are.

because they save a lot of unnecessary social activities, they do not have to ingratiate themselves, and they can spend their time and be the most authentic themselves without being disturbed by others.

after graduating from university, her friend Wang Ling went to work and followed the arrangement of the company. She moved into a dormitory.

after work, colleagues always like to drag her around, especially on weekends, partying all night.

she, who is used to living alone, does not like this kind of social life, but in order not to hurt the feelings among her colleagues, she can only choose to be perfunctory, and sometimes even join in their carnival.

in order to escape from this kind of life, in the end, she chose to move out of the company dormitory and rent a house alone.

although a person's life is very lonely, she lives at ease. She can not only keep her favorite habits, but also do a lot of things she likes.

later, she became a department manager, while those colleagues who had been in the same dormitory with her were still fishing in troubled waters and muddling along in their previous positions.

although people are gregarious animals, no one can really live as an island, but when drifting with the current becomes a habit, it is not surprising that we become mediocre.

if we can extricate ourselves from the inextricable social relations, find ourselves and live ourselves, it is not only a kind of courage to face life alone, but also a kind of self-blooming charm.

growing up is a person's business, and it is best to live faithfully to your heart.His spiritual practice.

A loner enjoys being alone but not alone

since childhood, others have been teaching us how to get along with others, but few people have taught us how to be alone.

Zhou Guoping said: "solitude is a necessary space for the soul to grow. To learn to be alone is to learn how to live in the present."

in this era of huddling for warmth, loners obviously have more opportunities to be alone than we do.

people who have the ability to be alone have the power to fight against loneliness.

in 2012, architect Wang Shu won the Pritzker Prize, the highest honor in the world architecture industry.

on the secret of success, Wang Shu said:

I have to thank those years of loneliness. When I was a child, I fell in love with painting because I was lonely, and I had an ignorant concept of architecture.

because of being alone after graduation, I was able to calm down and think, and a lot of design inspiration came from that period.

when he graduated from university, he went to work in a company under the Zhejiang Academy of Fine Arts. After several years, he chose to resign because he felt not free.

in the next ten years, when the architects around him became super-rich, he stayed on the construction site all day doing manual work with the craftsmen, and spent his spare time hanging around the West Lake, drinking tea and reading books.

because of his preference for traditional architecture, he hardly does commercial projects, does not encourage demolition, is unwilling to "repair the old as new" on the old house, does not like landmarks, and always keeps a certain distance from the trend.

he said, "I want to walk alone and see how far I can go." I can stick to it in loneliness, I'm not afraid. Because in loneliness, I have my fun. "

in the later days, he insisted on the transformation from the five scattered rooms to the Ningbo Museum and the Imperial Street of the Southern Song Dynasty in Hangzhou.

countless lonely days and nights, because of his persistence and adherence to his dream, he finally ushered in the highlight of his life.

We often equate solitude with loneliness. We don't dare to be alone because we are afraid of loneliness. In fact, solitude is never the direct cause of loneliness.

if your heart is empty, you will be lonely even if you are in the bustle and hustle and bustle; if you have a rich heart, you will be happy even in the mountains and forests.

when you decide to live with loneliness, dare to face your heart, and have a strong courage to change yourself, you can successfully break through loneliness and move from the appearance of loneliness to inner growth.

at this time, solitude is no longer solitude, but becomes a person's carnival.

Buddha said: "people in the world, in love, live and die alone, go and come alone."

loneliness is the fate of each of us, and solitude is a way of life close to the origin of life. this way of life can enable us to achieve better harmony and unity of the external environment and internal spirit in the process of growing up.

when we enjoy a person's time more and more, and we can arrange a person's life to the fullest without any effort, we are not far from true freedom.

May each of us spend more time on ourselves in our limited lives, live up to our years, live up to our time, and live up to ourselves.

firmly believe that as long as we dare to walk alone, a person can still live into thousands of troops!