I remember that many years ago, I met a girl at an activity.

because there was a break during the activity, we began to chat.

she is several years older than me, and she is not handsome, but after spending a long time with her, I can clearly feel that the other person is a very simple and amiable person.

she said that her current salary is not high, but she lives a regular life from nine to five and is satisfied with the current situation.

then we talked about the relationship, because I was single at that time, and so was she.

she told me that marriage is not necessary for her and that she is ready to be single all her life.

so I agreed: "whether or not to get married is secondary, the key point is to save more money for yourself in order to enjoy life."

her tone has always been soft and soft, but when she said this, she suddenly became a little firmer, looked at me and said:

"actually, for me, this is not the case. I don't earn much now, but I also enjoy being single. "

I looked at her for a long time, and I found that she was not good at makeup, her whole face had nothing to do with "delicacy", and her clothes were the simplest and most simple style.

and, according to her, her salary is about 7,000 a month.

maybe I was too young at that time, so my first reaction to her so-called "enjoying being single" was, is what she said is true?

I must live in luxury, but I don't want to live a tight life and wronge myself.

at that time, I wanted to be independent, strong, exquisite and dazzling, so that I wouldn't feel like I was left over.

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like the shining, everlasting stars we see on the Internet, if they don't get married, it will only make people feel that no one is worthy of her.

now, however, when I am aware of this idea, it immediately appears in my heart, and there is a lingering sense of shame.

Don't you think it's a narrow prejudice that we decide that a person can't have a satisfactory life just because she's not in the ideal state of being single?

and this idea is actually deeply rooted in the subconscious of many people:

if you are not beautiful enough, if you are not rich enough, then you do not deserve to be respectable single.

if you are mediocre and claim to enjoy being single, you must be trying to be brave.

in fact, these two sentences are more straightforward and a little more hurtful:

you say you don't want to get married, but no one wants it.

in fact, we have all heard similar statements since childhood.

if a man is not married, he will be said to have been "single all his life";

if a woman is not married, people will say, "they are all old girls and have never been married in this life";

Young singles are better, becoming known as "single dogs" and occasionally teasing themselves with the word.

but from bachelors, old girls to "single dogs", they all reveal some values of the older generation:

Love and marriage are more advanced and better than singles.

it seems that the only goal in life is to sell yourself as a commodity. If it is "unsalable", then the value of this person will be completely denied.

with the progress of the times, I find that people seem to be more open-minded and begin to tolerate a certain state of singleness, but still can not escape certain limitations.

We believe that a person needs to be rich, tough and almost perfect to make people believe that you are happy when you are single.

but later, I also spent a single day without any emotional sustenance.

during that time, I began to look for the pleasure of living alone and less eager to find a partner.

how cool it is for someone who can do it all by himself.

those who are ordinary but still dare to remain single are precisely those who are out of the old value system, they can find their own value elsewhere, maybe love is just the spice of their lives.

what's the difference between "not getting married" and "nobody wants"?

to put it bluntly, it's just a difference in mentality.

as long as you can spend each day independently, optimistically and fully, it doesn't matter how much money you earn, whether you are beautiful enough, or whether you live enviably.

after all, everyone knows whether they are good or miserable, and you can never convince everyone.

as long as you can fully recognize yourself, it doesn't matter whether you can marry or not.

, you always have the right to be single and to pursue the ordinary.