recently, the TV series "settling Home" is very popular, and the plot in the play has aroused heated discussion for a time.

behind every house, there is the story of the owner's life, so that we can get a glimpse of the world.

among them, the most eye-catching one is an old house in Shanghai. The owner of the house is a Mr. Gong. Because the funds of the family business are broken, he wants to sell the old house with an estimated estimate of 150 million yuan.

the house could be sold soon, but unexpectedly, he killed a great-aunt along the way, stuck with his family, and threatened to share the room with Mr. Gong.

it turns out that at that time, too great-aunt lost her husband and was desperate, so she took her two children to the Gong family.

Mr. Gong felt sorry for her, so he built them a small bungalow next to the house so that her two sons could go to school, work, get married and buy a wedding house.

later, Aunt Tai's family moved out, and there was no contact between them. It was not until he heard that Mr. Gong was going to sell his house that he deliberately came to rip him off.

taking into account the past affection, the Gong family discussed a settlement fee of 3 million, which was finally increased to 10 million, but they were still not satisfied. The lion asked for 50 million.

that insatiable greed, biting the hand that feeds you, makes people's teeth itch with anger.

I give you timely help, but you make it worse for me.

greed is not enough for snakes to swallow elephants, and they do not know how to be grateful and contented. This is the greatest evil of human nature.

-01-

born a human being, always be grateful

many people should have heard the stories of "the Farmer and the Snake" and "Mr. Dongguo and the Wolf". Although the story is short, it has a lot of meaning.

in real life, such examples abound. Receive the favor of others, not only ungrateful but calculated, and bite the hand that feeds you.

my friend Jia Jia sent me Wechat complaining about something that happened to her in the company.

because she was a newcomer, she promised. But every time I brought it back, no one took the initiative to transfer money to her.

at first Jia Jia thought it was a small thing, and she was a little embarrassed, so she didn't mention it on her own initiative.

over time, she found that she had paid more and more money for meals for her colleagues, so she talked to them casually.

did not expect, but in the bathroom, heard colleagues murmur: "such a small amount of money, do you care?"

Jia Jia was completely chilled. Obviously, she helped with the meal, but in the end it became her fault.

only then did she understand that people's feelings are as thin as paper and people's hearts are as cool as water. From then on, she put aside her former kindness and decisively refused her colleague's request to help with the meal.

I think of a sentence Sanmao once said: "between friends, ask each other for trifles, be kind to each other, and be fulfilled." Asking too much and taking an inch is the quickest way to lose a friend intentionally. "

like Jia Jia, it is my duty to help you, but it is my duty not to help you.

bring you a meal, just don't say "thank you", but don't push it, thinking that someone else owes you.

if the result of helping others is that both ends do not fall well, then over time, who will be willing to be kind?

born as a human being, you can be imperfect, not excellent, or even ordinary. The only thing you can't do is ingratitude.

when we are prosperous and rich, we must not forget those who give help in the snow; when the wind and water rise, we should not forget those who endure hardships together; when we are successful in our career, we must not forget those who have helped us in a great way.

maybe you and I are born ordinary, but only with gratitude and kindness can we illuminate and warm each other, and happiness will run into you and me unexpectedly.

-02-

fight rice to nourish grace, bear rice to nourish hatred

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in the Vampire Diaries, there are two classic lines:

"Why don't you let others see your good side?"

"because if they see it, they will expect me to be kind all the time."

Yes, the contradiction between people mainly comes from a group of people--

always scolds others with righteous words, but forgets to be strict with himself and forgets to examine himself to see if he has given his love to others when they are in trouble.

Oliver Cook, a British philanthropist, has been a philanthropist all his life.

she raises money for royal veterans and for dozens of charities for a long time. In order to help more people, she donated almost all of her pension and led a cash-strapped life.

however, her kindness did not win people's praise and gratitude.

on the contrary, Cook receives more than 200 emails and countless phone calls a day, and those who get her help repeatedly accuse her of "giving too little."

kindness can never fill the gully of desire.

the original act of kindness, in the eyes of greedy people, can even become an "obligation" that must be fulfilled.

in psychology, there is a concept called "marginal effect".

says that the emotional experience is the strongest when you come into contact with things for the first time. However, when the second contact, it will be lighter, the third time, lighter.

in this way, the more times we come into contact with the thing, the more indifferent our emotional experience becomes and becomes boring step by step.

the same goes for gratitude. I believe most people are grateful for the help they received from strangers for the first time, but if the same personWhat happened after the second, third and hundredth time of giving him favors?

he will only take the goodness of others for granted, even if you pour out your heart to him every day, even if you encounter difficulties, but as long as there is a help that does not live up to his expectations, resentment will take root in your heart.

so, don't go too far. Only in this way can we maintain the hearts of people who will never be satisfied. Only in this way can we prevent unpredictable changes.

Don't be too kind to one person. If you give too much, kindness will become cheap, and over time, others will no longer take your kindness seriously.

-03-

your kindness should be measured

We often say that we are born to be kind, but we often ignore the complexity and greed of human nature.

of course, we have to keep the bottom line of goodness, but sometimes, blindly good and compromise, not only will not affect evil, but will make the bad guys more unscrupulous.

read a story:

A practitioner was meditating by the water when he suddenly heard an unusual noise. It turned out that a scorpion had fallen into the water and was struggling desperately.

the practitioner was determined to save it, and as soon as he reached out his hand, he was stung by a scorpion. He put the scorpion on the ground and continued to meditate.

after a while, the scorpion fell into the water again. Fearless, the practitioner shot again and was stung by a scorpion again.

A Zen master saw it and asked him, "if the scorpion stings you again and again, why do you want to save it?"

the practitioner said, "it is its nature to sting people, and compassion is my nature."

at this time, the scorpion fell into the water again, and the practitioner was about to reach for it. The Zen master picked up a branch and the scorpion climbed up along the branch.

the Zen master smiled and said, "it is right to be compassionate, but you must be merciful to yourself and protect yourself before you can be merciful to sentient beings."

all over the world, people's hearts are like a deep pool. Not everyone deserves to be kind to him.

just like a farmer can never cover a hot snake, Mr. Dongguo can't feed a white-eyed wolf. Don't encourage the arrogance of evil, and don't break your bottom line.

the older people grow up, the more they understand that being too kind is cowardice, and the more they know how to protect themselves from others.

May you cherish those who will always be around you in time when you are in need, and may you be the one who can bring help and warmth to others. I hope all your hearts will have a place to go.

-04-

Dong Qing said: "goodness with edges and corners is really goodness. people without edges and corners can hardly go further in this vulgar world."

although goodness seems to be full of beauty, it is also fragile, and if you release your kindness too much, it may become an unbearable weight in your life.

there has never been a kind of giving in the world, which is taken for granted. Never give your kindness to people who are indifferent and heartless, and never use your kindness to help people who don't know anything in return.

Let our kindness bring some edge for the rest of our lives.