when my friend Da Zuo just graduated and went to work, he attended a party of high character with his boss.

when he went, he was very nervous. In addition, he was not used to the suit, and his back was straight and sweaty. The boss comforted him that there was no need to be so uptight.

after entering, Da Zuo was surprised to find that the seats were arranged at random, and there were big bosses and newcomers at his table.

what is even more surprising is that the big boss around him took the initiative to talk to him, and when he encountered a question that the big left could not answer, he quietly and cleverly changed the subject.

the dishes were gradually served, and their conversation became more and more lively, like old friends.

in communication, the so-called big bosses do not ignore their newcomers, but leave them the opportunity to speak.

, the boss asked him, "how do you feel?"

the friend replied, "I never thought I would be so comfortable with these big bosses."

to make people comfortable does not mean to be sleek and sophisticated, nor to blindly pander to others, but a kind of goodwill and self-cultivation from the inside to the outside.

High-level people can unwittingly exude their own self-cultivation and infect the people around them, thus making themselves and each other fall into comfort.

-01-

speak with discretion

make people comfortable, the most prominent point is reflected in the way of speaking.

"Zengguang Xianwen" said: good words are warm in three winters, and evil words hurt people in June.

bad words refer to words that are out of place.

Shen Fu records some trifles between him and his wife Chen Yun in six stories of a floating Life, one of which is impressive.

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when Shen Fu and Chen Yun were not married, they spoke politely, but after they got married, they became more and more casual, and they always laughed at Chen Yun for being "pretending to be reserved", so as to annoy Chen Yun once.

Shen Fu hastened to explain that his sentence was unintentional and was just a casual remark.

Chen Yun said: "all kinds of hostile things in the world are mostly caused by fun."

I think so. Sometimes, an inadvertent sentence will offend people.

think about that joke.

once upon a time, there was a treat to dinner, but as the appointed time was approaching, more than half of the guests did not come. The master was very anxious and said, "what's the matter? why don't you come?"

some sensitive guests heard this and thought, "those who should have come didn't come, so we shouldn't have come?" So he left quietly.

the host looked and left several guests, became more anxious, and said, "Why are all those who shouldn't have left gone again?"

the rest of the guests heard this and said angrily, "those who have left should not have left, so those of us who have not left should have gone!" So another batch went, and in the end there were only a few friends who were closer to the host.

after seeing this awkward scene, the host shouted wronged and hurriedly explained, "I'm not asking them to go!"

my friends were furious and said, "either tell them to go, or tell us to go." With that, he left without looking back. At this point, there are no guests left.

people who have heard of it only regard it as a joke, but they don't know it. When people talk, they will really utter such a language casually.

when getting along with friends, because of the "good relationship", they will put down a lot of vigilance, and it is easy to chat unscrupulously. Often hanging in the oral, is the sentence "all friends, all joking".

but these so-called jokes, heard by others, may add a bit of cynicism.

speaking is a kind of knowledge, it is easy to learn to speak, it is difficult to learn to speak, and it is even more difficult to learn comfortable words.

No matter what kind of relationship it is, even the closest relatives and loved ones, you should always pay attention to what you say. Don't speak when you shouldn't speak, but speak well when you should.

-02-

when you do things, you should know how to advance and retreat

"Doctrine of the mean" said, "A gentleman acts in his place and does not want to be outside it."

"acting in its place" means that the behavior should be in line with the environment and identity, and do not cross the line, in the final analysis, in the word "degree".

teacher he Jing, who has a high EQ reputation in the entertainment industry, has been in practice for many years, and everyone who has been in contact with him is full of praise for him.

it can also be seen from many variety shows.

while participating in the recording of the Variety "the Life of yearning", a guest asked to eat abalone, but they did not have sufficient funds.

Huang Lei communicated for a long time, and the abalone stall owner agreed to sell three abalone at a cheap price. He Jing paid the money and carefully selected three relatively small abalone.

later he explained that the stall owner's price reduction may only give face to him and Huang Lei, which may affect their income that day, but they have to buy it, so it will do no harm to both sides to choose a few small abalone.

this careful move saves everyone's face and makes everyone feel comfortable.

the "comfort" brought by he Jiong is also reflected in the Star Detective.

in the search for evidence, every time he Jiong found hidden evidence, he would put it in a very conspicuous place to facilitate the staff to restore the scene for the second time.

A comfortable person is delicate and self-contained. Such a person, a look, a move can make others feel warm, experience the warmth of spring breeze.

-03-

comfortable, it is the top charm of personality

the ancients said, "the true taste is light."It is business as usual. "

A truly attractive person doesn't make you feel like he's above you, nor does he make you feel like he can't get close.

A cultured person makes you feel no inferiority when you come into contact and does not feel the gap when you communicate. It seems that it is also warm, which makes you yearn to spend more time with him from the bottom of your heart.

if you are comfortable, you will have many and sincere friends; if you are comfortable, your family will be close and harmonious.

truly attractive people understand that everything is mutual. When you make people feel comfortable, it's natural to repay you.

"Cai Gentan" said: "the article goes to the extreme, there is nothing strange, it just happens; the character is at the extreme, there is no difference, it is just what it is."

so, for the rest of your life, try to exercise your charm, improve your self-cultivation, and be a comfortable person.

May all of us be gentle and moist gentlemen.

May our interpersonal communication begin with appearance, accord with character, and last longer than self-cultivation.

May our life journey be comfortable and comfortable.

if you can do so, it will be worth your life.